## Divorce mediation in Connecticut
**Mediation** is a structured negotiation where a neutral third party (the mediator) helps spouses work out the terms of their divorce — without going to trial. Most cases that go to mediation settle, often in 1-3 sessions.
### Connecticut mediation rules
Strongly encouraged; court-ordered in many cases.
## Why mediation works
- **Cheaper than litigation** — typical mediation: $1,500-$5,000 split between spouses; contested divorce: $20,000-$100,000+ each
- **Faster** — 1-3 mediation sessions vs 6-18 months of litigation
- **Private** — closed sessions; no public courtroom
- **Less adversarial** — preserves co-parenting relationships
- **Spouse-controlled** — you decide outcomes, not a judge
- **Higher compliance** — agreements you negotiated yourself stick better than court orders
- **Better for kids** — reduces high-conflict litigation exposure
## What mediation covers
**Property division:**
- Real estate (house, vacation property)
- Vehicles, bank accounts, investment accounts
- Retirement accounts (401(k), IRA, pension)
- Business interests
- Personal property (furniture, jewelry, art, collectibles)
- Debt division (mortgages, credit cards, loans)
**Spousal support / alimony:**
- Whether to pay
- How much
- Duration
- Modification triggers
**Child-related issues:**
- Legal custody (decision-making)
- Physical custody / parenting time
- Holidays, vacations, special occasions
- Communication between parents
- Child support amount and modification
- Tax dependency claims
- Health insurance and unreimbursed medical
- Educational expenses
- College planning
## What mediation can't fix
- **Domestic violence cases** — mediation can be inappropriate; many states exclude DV cases from mandatory mediation
- **Severe power imbalance** — financial control, mental-health issues affecting capacity
- **Hidden assets** — mediation requires good-faith disclosure
- **Refusal to negotiate** — when one party is dug in, mediation can't bridge
- **Substance abuse** — may need treatment first
## How mediation works
**1. Selecting a mediator:**
- Family-law attorney (most common) — knows the law and the courts
- Therapist / mental-health professional — particularly for high-conflict custody
- Retired judge — for complex cases
- Many states have state-approved family-mediator credentials
**2. Pre-mediation:**
- Each spouse gathers financial documents
- Many spouses use individual attorneys for advice + mediator for negotiation
- Confidentiality agreement signed
- Mediator may meet briefly with each party first
**3. Mediation sessions:**
- Usually 2-3 hours each
- Mediator runs structured discussion
- Joint sessions, sometimes shuttle (mediator moves between rooms)
- Most issues resolve in 1-3 sessions for collaborative cases
**4. Memorandum of Understanding (MOU):**
- Written summary of agreed terms
- Each party reviews with their own attorney
- Converted to formal Marital Settlement Agreement
- Filed with court for approval / incorporation into divorce decree
## Mediation vs collaborative divorce vs litigation
**Mediation:**
- Neutral third-party mediator
- Spouses may have separate attorneys but they don't attend sessions
- Mediator can't give legal advice
- Fast and cheap
**Collaborative divorce:**
- Each spouse has a collaboratively-trained attorney
- Attorneys + spouses meet for negotiations
- Pledge not to litigate (if process fails, attorneys must withdraw)
- Often involves financial neutral, mental-health professional, child specialist
- Middle ground in cost and time
**Traditional litigation:**
- Each spouse has attorney
- Court hearings, motions, discovery
- Eventually trial if not settled
- Most expensive and slow option
## Should you have your own attorney during mediation?
Strongly recommended:
- Mediator can't give either party legal advice
- Independent attorney explains your rights, reviews proposals, advises on local outcomes
- Attorney reviews MOU before you sign
- Some states require attorney sign-off for enforceability
Many people use a coach attorney throughout — meeting between sessions to plan and advise.
## Confidentiality
Most state mediation statutes protect:
- **Mediator's notes** — non-discoverable
- **Settlement offers made in mediation** — inadmissible in court if mediation fails
- **Mediator can't be called to testify**
Exceptions: child-abuse disclosures, criminal threats, fraud disclosures.
## What you should do
If you're divorcing in Connecticut: explore mediation FIRST. Even contested cases benefit from mediation. Most Connecticut family-law mediators offer initial consultations. Many family-law attorneys also serve as mediators or refer clients to mediators they trust. The cost difference between mediation and full litigation is enormous — and most cases are mediation-eligible even when emotions run high.
---
*This guide is general information about Connecticut law as of early 2026 and is not legal advice. Mediation procedures vary by jurisdiction and case type. Talk to a licensed Connecticut family-law attorney about your specific situation.*
This guide is for general information only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws change and outcomes depend on your specific situation — talk to a licensed attorney before acting on anything you read here.